Wednesday, July 29, 2009

List o' Best and Worst Game Controllers

We gamers should know that a game can either be make or break with its control scheme. Whether its too hard or easy to maneuver a character in a game; the control options and sub options make for either easily selecting attributes or not; or that the game allows for such precise sequence of movements that it could render your hand crippled at the end. That my friend is control design in a videogame, not what I'm talking about. Right now I'm talking about the actual controller, the effin' thing you play with, remember? It is a vital tool in game play because without it, you're pretty much just watching a title screen that you paid $60 for. And just a heads up, this is only consisting of original manufacturer's produced controllers for each console, no third party designs or homebrew mods. So lets get started with the list. Here's my top seven best and worst videogame controller designs. Why top seven, because all other numbers are too cliche.

Best Controllers:

  1. Sega Dreamcast with VMU: It was a two for one deal. The best design, it was like holding a starship in your hand and its memory card you can play side games and check what's saved on itself. EPIC.
  2. NES Advantage: Because it's the convenience of an arcade cabinet on crack on your lap. A base that had a joystick with the standard A/B buttons but had turbo features, sweet.
  3. Playstation 2 DuelShock: Reason 1, it vibrated. Reason 2, it had two joysticks that acted as triggers. And reason 3, it was black, that just looks cool
  4. Super Nintendo: Two Words, L/R buttons. It was the first to have it, 'nuff said.
  5. Nintendo Entertainment System: The best way to play all the classics. It's the controller that brought us the Contra Code.
  6. Atari 2600: The granddaddy of all controllers. Eight directions and a single button. If you can't handle that, than you can't handle crap.
  7. Sega Genesis 6 button: The best way to play Mortal Kombat 3, ahh memories...

Worst Controllers:

  1. Power Glove: It doesn't work, it's a piece of crap... This is so, so bad that in fact, the only way to do it any justice on how craptastic it is, is to just follow the link here.
  2. Sega Activator: Motion detection at it's crappiest. It used infrared sensors on an octagon that senses motion of the player inside of it. Half the time it didn't work and the other half when it responded it did the exact opposite of what the hell you wanted to do. Thank goodness that I didn't own one and just made fun of my friend that did buy that piece o' crap.
  3. ColecoVision: It's not a controller, it's a friggin' phone pad with a dial for an earpiece. Even the controller had wood paneling, what were they smoking back in '82.
  4. Playstation 3: No vibration, come the eff on people. We live in an age of consoles playing in 1080p capable of the best resolution to date, and we can't have a controller that originally had vibration features as it predecessors? WTF!
  5. The WiiMote: So many broken televisions, so little flack from it because it's still part of the ultimate family and party console. Bull!
  6. XBox: This behemoth was so huge that you needed a friend in the next zip code to press the buttons on the other side of it.
  7. Nintendo 64: An awkward three handled boomerang shaped failure. At least it had introduced the trigger button with the 'Z' under the middle handle.

So anyways, that's my list of the best and worst of controllers. It may be brief, but what hasn't been said about them already. It's just my way to say that the game isn't all about what's on the screen, but how you're interacting with it.

BootLeG sampler.. signing out...

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