Thursday, October 29, 2009

I heart the King of Prussia Mall

So I was talking to some of my fellow co-workers the other day about how we used to spend our youth.  And I was like how I thought most teenagers spend their time, as a mallrat.  I figured the mall was the place to be.  It was a joining place for friends and acquaintances to convene, shop, eat, and have a good time with other amusements that the local mall could provide such as movies, outdoor vestibules for concerts, indoor mini-golf, and even the occasional carousel for the little ones and those bigger kids that want to make an ass out of themselves.  And I guess that I could consider myself lucky for having such a kickass mall in my old stomping grounds as a youth...  The King of Prussia Mall.  By far the best mall that I've ever had the luxury to visit.  Now I know that some people would say that the Mall of America trumps anything that is out there.  I'm not gonna deny their claims.  But this is my blog, and I've never had the luxury to visit the Mall of America.  But believe me when I say this; the King of Prussia Mall is by far the most epic of all shopping venues that I've ever had the fortune of waiting so much of my time and money at.  I truly heart the King of Prussia Mall.
Let me break it down for everyone just in case you were too damn lazy to follow the links from above.  The King of Prussia Mall consists of two separate buildings, the Plaza and the Court.  The Court was majority upscale vendors and department stores where glitz and glamor reign supreme; while the Plaza caters to more of the common man while still having an upscale facet for itself.  Where I spent most of my time however was the Plaza.  It was more of the commoners section of the Mall, especially since the food court was the epicenter of all social interaction cause everyone needed to eat, right?!?  But that's not to say that that was the only conveyor of food there.  With plenty of upscale restaurants in and around the mall, there are plenty of options to choose from.  It's just from a mallrat's perspective eating at Panda Express and BK was more feasible than the Cheesecake Factory and Ruth Chris Steakhouse.
But the mall isn't just for eating (of course it doesn't help that I love to eat and I'm married to a chef), it's for shopping as well.  The galleries of clothing stores, gadget shops, beauty salons, and the occasional comic book retailer was what and has continue to draw consumers and customers to the mall.  Everything from Lord and Taylor to Foot Locker to Fredrick's of Hollywood to the Discovery Channel Store to the comic book store to the Timberland Store to, you get the idea.  Everything for everyone.  Hell, that's why it's slogan is "Life, and all it's stores."  (Gosh I feel cheezy just typing that...)
But seriously, it's a friggin' beast the King of Prussia Mall.  No mall that I've been to have even come close to light a friggin' candle to how epic the Plaza and the Court is.  Hell, it was so good that some of my fondest memories with my uncle was just going to the mall after church and just walk the entire damn place.  We start at the third floor of Sears, JC Penney or Macy's (whichever he's in the mood to get a decent shirt from that day) and then canvas the Plaza and every square inch that catches our interest then walk (or drive depending on the weather that day) to the Court and do the same there as well.  By that time it would be close to closing time for the mall and we've already been there since 11-ish.  There's a day well spent for any mallrat and a bonding experience with a great man in my family.
So I conclude, the mall was excellent.  Hell, it still is.  With the Court and the Plaza, the IMAX theater, and other surrounding stores and restaurants on it's grounds, I just wish I was there right now.  And if you're reading this and haven't experienced the King of Prussia Mall, I just wish that you were there too to experience such an epic place.
BootLeG sampler.. signing out...

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Some side effects may include...

So I'm writing about my post-op experiences after the vasectomy. And I'm getting lots of questions from those close to me about how was it and all sorts of weird crap. So I decided to make a generalized FAQ about my experience with the whole nip/tuck from down under. Without further ado, cause FAQ's are all about as direct of a response as possible, let's cut (bad use of word here) the crap and list some FAQ's.

Q: Did/does it hurt?
A: The only thing that hurt during the process was the needle to the sack and the fact that there was a lot of pressure on there due to the clamping of the tube and the local anesthetic not kicking in just yet. And as for currently, it only feels a small bit of pain if I get up, sit down, or move too fast too suddenly.

Q: Are you taking anything for it?
A: An antibiotic to combat any infections and percocet for any pain that is not manageable without it.

Q: Why didn't you just have your wife get her tubes tied instead?
A: The process of a vasectomy is a quick 30-60 min office procedure with a day or two to recover from. This versus my wife that has to go under general anesthesia and major surgery with a helluva lot longer recovery time. Also my wife's been though hell enough already giving birth to our three sons and I don't want to worry her with any kind of complications in that regard as well.

Q: Can you still do the things you used to do?
A: This is in regard with my sex life and pleasing my wife. Yes, I can still do all that stuff just like I've been able to do the whole time. It's not like it's going to be nothing coming out, it's just that there's no sperm in the semen to impregnate the wifie. So it's like you can't tell the difference. At least that's what I heard. By the time of this post I'm still in the "can't have sex for 7-10 days because you might tear those stitches" window. So that's fuckin' killing me.

Q: Can you walk.
A: Uhhh... yeah, duh?!? I made it from the doctors to wherever I am now, right?!?

Q: Do you still have your balls.
A: Of course. They didn't take those away from me. The only thing that they've done was separate the tubing from my testicles that produced sperm and made sure that I wouldn't be able to produce again. Unlike popular opinion, it's not like if you take a dog to the vet and they totally snip the whole kibbles and bits off. That's just barbaric to even suggest that to a man, we're more sophisticated and have the ability to just go under and sever the ties (no pun intended, I swear) to what allows us to procreate.

So that's the the FAQ's about my vasectomy experience. I hope that this answered some of your general questions as well as some that might not have came into your mind. I tried to keep this as short as possible due to the strange and variance of off-the-wall responses that I've been experiencing. Hopefully this will silence the masses for a moment until the next radical thing that happens to me.

BootLeG sampler.. signing out...

Monday, October 19, 2009

My Balls, Interrupted

So today was the day that I go to the urologist to undergo a vasectomy. I call it an everlasting kick in the balls that doesn't seem to know when to stop. But I'm jumping ahead here. Let me give you a little back story here to shine some light on why I'm icing my sack with a bag of frozen peas.

The decision to get this was for my wife. I'd do anything for her (well, anything legal :P) and while seeing the pain of her being pregnant with our third child over the past year and knowing that she can't go though that kind of pain for a fourth time , we decided that one of us should take more permanent measures on preventing anymore pregnancies. I didn't want to put my wife though the pain and hassle of going under the knife for a hysterectomy, so I manned up and said, I'll go though and get a vasectomy. And after some research on how vasectomies are performed and how less labor intensive they are compared to the other option for my wife, it was an easy decision.

This brings us to this morning. We arrive at the doctor's office in Tempe around 7:35am for an 8 o'clock appointment. The older two boys were dropped off at school by a friend of ours and we had our four-month-old with us waiting in the, well, waiting room... (no shit, huh?!?) So the nurse gets me at about 8:20, takes my vitals and my wife and kid is left in the waiting room while I get my snip-snip on in the office. (It's an outpatient procedure for the most part so no hospital stays here people...) The nurse brings her laptop (because every nurse that works there has one to record vitals to their servers through wi-fi) and then asks me what kind of music I like. Initially thinking that that was an odd request but knowing now the motive of it, I decided to go for some rock music, so she starts streaming Yahoo! music set to Alternative Rock. Pretty decent for the most part, kept me relaxed during the whole thing. So she leaves and tell me to strip from the waist down; alright, can't really get to my junk with denim jeans in the way I guess.. She comes back and I'm sittin on the deli paper on the table holding my package; and she replies "You know that you can drape yourself with that paper behind you?" Modesty check, failed. Oh yea, did I forget to tell you about the arsenal of forceps and cutty-things on their rolling table just waiting to make contact with my ballsack, very intimidating.

Then the doc comes in., just swaggering as if we're just going though a walk in the park.. But like any smart dog knows that a ride in the car might end up to trip to the vet's office for a little bit off the top... (Just imagine the sound of a dog yelping and that's what going through my mind a the time.) By this time a little Foo Fighters and Atreyu had already finished playing and that put me into a decent mood, until the damn big-ass needle with the local anesthetic. OMFG I hate fuckin' needles with a passion. The doc told me that I might feel a pinch then some pressure afterwards. So he stuck me, in my sack, and it punched, and it BURNED!!! Oh God the burning sensation. Then the doc felt around and clamped my vas deferens with the forceps, and that was no pressure, that was vice smashing my balls into a paste, like a vicious pit bull snacking on meat flavored rag doll. Told the doc about the pressure and he said, it's normal... and I'm thinking (what the hell was the point of the anesthetic. Also doesn't help that he didn't give the anesthetic enough time to work it's magic. By this time he made a slit in my scrotum and he's pulling my vas deferens from there. How ironic that Slipknot's Dead Memories start to play as he's going though this. Then he shows me the cauterizer, that's what the doc uses to burn off each end of the tube after he removes the section of it. It supposed to smell like burning and luckily for me the anesthetic was in full force at that time. The he stitched me up, moved on the second side (God I wished that I was Lance Armstrong at that time.)

He started to clamp, felt pressure, can't do shit about that, but then he started to make the incision, that I'm not supposed to feel, but I did, and I told him, "I kinda felt that, can you hit me up with that needle again?) Figure a needle is gonna be a helluva lot less painful then feeling an open sack and a cold pair of scissors or scalpel. By that time, My Chemical Romance's Black Parade was playing and I started to cringe. The doc thought he was doing something or if it was the pressure, and in part it was that and the other part was that I fuckin' hate that band. I don't do emo and if I want to hear from a bunch of whiny pussies, I'll watch Lifetime with the wifie. Somehow it seems that the second side was much faster than the first by no comparison. And the stitching was done lickity-split. Hep put some bandages on the incisions and I was just thankful that they're weren't the Dora the Explorer kind, cause that would just be too weird. Like any of my other posts are normal, right?!? Also per the doc's instructions I was supposed to have supportive underwear to protect my balls from just flopping around and that meant tighty-whities. I haven't warn them since the fifth grade and man, that is an uncomfortable feeling at first, but I've gotten over it by now I only know now that that uncomfortable feeling now was really just my balls on recovery at the time. So I continue to get dressed and then, and THEN, after all that, Red Hot Chili Peppers comes on. I swear, the only thing that I could think of was, "If I have to go though all that hell, just to hear By The Way, I'm never playing Give It Away on my bass ever again!!!"

So I'm outta the office, the wife's driving me home avoiding any potholes and speed bumps to make sure that the package arrives safely at home. She filled my prescription of Percocet and not a moment too soon cause the boys were definitely starting to feel all butt-hurt and everything, for good reason I might add. Started watching a DVD to pass the time and I was passed out for like an hour or so, had to start the movie all over again which kinda pissed me off a little bit, but if that was the only thing that really pissed me off all day (and it was,) then I can say that it was a good day.

Yup, that's my interpretation of a vasectomy. That was my experience. This is my experience right now. Still have a pack of frozen peas on my balls typing my blog, switching back and forth from this, Facebook, my Project Playlist, and other stuff online. But if I could do it again for my wife, I would. I'm just lucky that I can only do it once.

BootLeG sampler.. signing out...

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Fantasy Football: Full Throtle

So it's October and we're knee deep in gridiron action. We had injuries, surprises, and hell even the Detroit Lions won a game finally (nothing like a 19-game losing streak to make the news scoring a W). But what I'm talking about in relation good ol' BLG.. is fantasy football. I posted a helluva long time back about being asked to join a fantasy football league. Well, that spawned to me being associated in three, yes three different leagues simultaneously. Seriously, that's a lot of maintenance.

I have one from work that I was invited into (that would have been number 1). Then there's one that I'm doing with a few of my friends from work and outside of work, plus a third one with another set of close friends. That's a lot on my plate this year, the most that I've done yet. And it wasn't until about 2 years ago that I've been bitten by the fantasy football bug and at first it was fantastic just learning the ropes. The second year was more of a rebuilding fundamentals and I made it to the playoffs only to be knocked out on the first round last year. Now it's like running a friggin' gauntlet with three different leagues with three totally different lineups hoping that I could just break even at the end. Although I am happy to say that I'm 3-1 on one league and had a bye week on another that was well needed cause most of my lineup was eff'd up for that week. Ah the troubles of having eyes that are too big for your stomach, it's a fickle bitch.

What the hell ever happened to just going to a sports bar, enjoying a beer and the game and not worry about "crap, like a third of my lineup is on a bye week and I'm gonna get screwed over like a $3 whore." I miss those days when I just enjoyed the game because it was a sport and I was a spectator. Now I feel like that being commissioned by the NFL to micromanage a select few to assemble the most epic of all teams for that season. ISN'T THAT WHAT THE EFF'N PRO BOWL IS FOR!?! I mean that's been a NFL institution for-like-ever now, why mess with perfection that worked back in the day. I mean, I do it because it's fun and has comradely between friends and co-workers. That's it. Sure the occasional smack talk ensures but that's because we're a bunch of men and that's how we handle our business. But for goodness sake people, it's just a eff'n game. Let it be, and have some fun with it. So what if your team sucks, just remember one thing: at least you're not the 2008 Lions (still LMAO on that one).

To a healthy season for every football fanatic...

BootLeG sampler.. signing out...

Sunday, October 4, 2009

List o' Best Songs You Might've Never Heard Of

So I'm back with another list. This time its a music list because as we all know, I loves me some good tunes from time to time. But I feel that some songs go unrecognized on how epically great they are. That really saddens me on that concept. So I decided to give these tracks some well deserved recognition. The only thing is that they're so many songs for me to choose from that deserve some respect. I mean do you choose those that are meaningful in their lyrics, ambiguous with their instrumental prowess, a combination their of, or just something that is just wacky and left of center. I mean, that's a lot to sink your teeth into, so I just decided to make it a hodgepodge of it all and make the sky the limit on which stylings to have available. In saying that, what I did was that I decided to give myself a restriction on such by just limiting songs that I could find and put onto my project playlist which is embedded on my post for your listening pleasure. Also I wanted to add the stipulation of only 1 song per artist/group/band so that it inhibits more of a variety for you all. So without further ado, here's BootLeG sampler..'s top 17 underrated songs... or whatever the hell I called this post. Just look at the title and you know... (And why top 17 you ask? Because it's the perfect length of tracks for a mix tape, duh!?!)

*Disclaimer :: This playlist is rated M for Mature. Don't listen unless you want your ears to bleed from all the possible F-bombs*

And in the order of my mix tape on how they're played out, here they are:

  • 11:59 by doubleDrive :: Didn't I already mention that I friggin' love doubleDrive!!! They're so talented and yet so underrated themselves. Thus the reason why I established the 1 song stipulation.
  • Zebra by John Butler Trio :: This Aussie outfit lends some great skills to creating a neo-folk piece of greatness.
  • Starshines by 311 :: Just listen to the first set of words in the song, it says it all. (Honestly it was a toss-up between that and Homebrew, but I had more of a fondness for this track, so Homebrew deserves an honorable mention).
  • The Icicle Melts by The Cranberries :: Such a subtle track but powerful in meaning, it deserves to be on this list.
  • Charlie Brown's Parents by Dishwalla :: If you ever had angst about authority and fitting in as a kid, this one's for you.
  • Lemonade by Tsunami Bomb :: When life gives you lemons, yada yada yada... And this song takes the cake in that message.
  • Suite-Pee by System of a Down :: This track is just sick, no other word to say it, it's just friggin sick.
  • End of the World by Cold :: Screw R.E.M.'s song of the same name, this is what I want to play just before it happens.
  • Walking thru Barbed Wire by Papa Roach :: Quite honestly their best song in their entire catalouge that didn't end up as a single (Between Angels and Insects is their best song, but it's too well known to be considered underrated.)
  • Pollution by Limp Bizkit :: I tried to find one with the intro track before this so that it would be even more epic; but it's still stands out on it's own and a great leadin to the next track.
  • Everything Remains Raw by Busta Rhymes :: When I first heard this back in 1995, I was like "Damn, that's some great solo rappin shit!!! He's gonna go far in his career." And I was right.
  • Inhale by Stone Sour :: People really gotta give Corey Taylor more props with his stuff outside of Slipknot. Stone Sour ain't just all mellow and pussified, they have balls.
  • Alone I Break by KoRn :: This is one of the few of my tracks that actually made it as a single. While most thought of it as tame, I thought of it as intriguing and stepping into a new realm for the band.
  • O Paranoia by Gangster Fun :: I don't do ska that often, but these guys are really good. I had to find the best one available instead of the track I wanted, Skarabia.
  • Summer by Alien Ant Farm :: It shows the complete range of the band all in one track without mocking a classic Michael Jackson song.
  • Boyz In Da Hood by Dynamite Hack :: This is the only cover I have on my list and they made a great song by NWA legend Eazy-E even greater.
  • Triumph by Wu-Tang Clan :: In my opinion their last great track they produced. Honestly, anything after 36 Chambers really was shit, so I had to promote this track cause this was really good in my opinion.

And just for show, here's the playlist for everyone to enjoy. You'd honestly think that I would leave ya'll hangin?!? C'mon...

Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones

So that's my piece on great songs that need to be recognized. Hope ya'll enjoyed it.

BootLeG sampler.. signing out...