Saturday, June 20, 2009

Eleventh Hour

That is what I feel like right about now. Just waiting and waiting for that time to come when you know something big is going to happen. Something that is just so monumental that no words can completely and accurately describe the emotion thats in the air. That is what I'm feeling right about now. As you might have read in a couple of previous posts on my blog (if not the you should really check it out) my wife and I are expecting our son to enter this world. My wife have been experiencing some discomfort for the past few weeks all for the sake of keeping safe and taking care of our new son. And all that I can do about is just joke and hide my true emotions on what's happenings for the sake of not adding any additional stress to her in this gauntlet; although I have been waiting to say "I hope he comes out having that new car smell" to her yet in lieu of getting slapped to the next county.

I just wish that there was more than what I'm already doing for her to do to help her out with this last leg of her pregnancy. I'm just at a loss and I know I've talked about it earlier, but this is something that has to be said about life in the eleventh hour. We prepared for whatever situation might come across and yet I feel nervous as hell. And it's not the fact that this is a new experience, I had this feeling with my first two boys. No matter how prepared I think I am, something in the back of my mind still sounds off alarms and an internal panic is rising. I should be a pro at this the third time around, but I feel like total crap. Doing everything that I have the power of doing, anticipating on what to happen next and be diligent and ready for what is to happen; all this and not to be vomiting at the presence of nerves being shot. And if I'm feeling like this, I can only imagine how my wife is feeling inside.

Although she wears her feelings and emotions on her sleeve. She's not afraid to tell you what the hell is happening at that moment and what her thoughts on towards what to expect. And that makes me feel that if she is projecting that, than one of two things I'm thinking is going on inside of her:
1) Her heart on her sleeve is only a watered downed layout of what is actually happening inside of her and that her actions are most probably amplified at least ten fold, or
2) She's scared shitless just as much as I am about what is happening and don't know how to pronounce it in a physical sense.
Either way; I feel for her, and all that I can do is just stand by her side.

So as we get closer to whenever he arrives, I might have to take a slight break on posting. Personal matters and all (I think by now you understand, if not, you definately need to be beaten with the common sense stick.) As I wait for our son to come into this world and for me to greet him with arms wide open.

On a side note, I'm happy that my wife and I have decided on his name (of course this was months ago but I like to add some humor to the mix; hey M.A.S.H. did it for the Korean Conflict.) His name is Logan James; and the first reaction to most people when I told them that is 'you named him after Wolverine from the X-Men?' Well, not at first, but after that revelation, it just stuck. It was a complete coincidence that that happened to be the name that both me and my wife picked out for him. Just so happens to be the most bad-ass character in the Marvel Universe. Makes me proud to be a father.

Until most likely after Logan's born,

BootLeG sampler.. signing out...

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