Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I Am Gamer pt IV (The Non-Gamer)

Okay, so at this point of my exploration of different types of gamers, I'm getting to the part where I'm winding down to scrape the last bit of the gamer population in and make some use for them.  I am talking about a non-gamer.  And quite frankly, I don't know what to actually say about them.  It's almost like the feeling that after working on a manure pasture that you come home and step in dog shit in the front yard.  It's almost pointless, and the keyword for that is almost.  We shouldn't alienate them just cause they don't play, or play as regularly as other gamers.  We need to give them credit for at least trying and playing games on their own level.  So I'm gonna try my damndest to find some sort of degree of gaming to those 'non-gamers' and make them feel welcomed to the gaming community; as well as poke fun to them because I'm an asshole like that.
 
Non-gamers are a unique breed.  They're likely to not play or play extremely rarely just out of curiosity.  And it's not the fact that they don't play, it's just that what they do play aren't really considered videogames.  In fact, it's probably best for me to link the graph here again just for a refresher to show you the differences between a gamer (in general) and a non-gamer.  Now with that brief explanation said and done, let's get a little deeper into this and break down some of the various degrees of separation of non-gamers, and hopefully in the process not piss off more people than from previous attempts...
 
  • The Gateway Gamer :: They're like the closest to becoming a casual gamer than any other archetype of non-gamer.  Simple videogames such as old school platformers and even the occasional rhythm based game could turn them on to a new addiction.  They could have been an intense gamer until something happened and they might have the urge to fall off their videogame sobriety wagon to get back into gaming.  Another scenario would be that they could quit gaming at any time and not pick up a controller for months at a time prior to getting back in the habit.  And just because I'm an inhibitor of bad habits, they would probably like this read to get them in their gaming fix.
  • The Can't Hold a Controller Worth A Damn Gamer :: These guys are usually those that give up gaming cause they suck.  Sure they might try to pick it up again, but once they get into a button-mashing state and fail miserably, they're the first to throw their Wiimotes to the TV not by accident, but by pure rage.  Their better off playing chess in Central Park against some old blind fart in my opinion that playing a videogame.
  • The Solitaire Player :: We all know this person.  The guy that just bought this super kickass computer with Windows 7 Ultimate-Super-Kamehameha Edition Service Pack 8000 and all they do is play Solitaire or Minesweeper.  ARE YOU FUCKIN' KIDDING ME!?!  SOLITAIRE AND MINESWEEPER!?!  Dammit man, do something, install a piece of shit game from the $5 bin at Staples or run a torrent and download something, anything... Just, just... *MIND EXPOSES FROM EPIC WTF-NESS!!!*  Yeah, I don't get it either...
  • The Flash Gamer :: These people are the ones that either go to Facebook not to network and catch up with friends and family but play their apps; buy an iPhone only for playing their apps; or go onto the various flash game intensive sites to play, well, flash games.  I must note that flash games are not real games.  They're time wasters and commercial producers.  If you game on these exclusively, you're lame.  :P
  • The Too Good for Videogames Gamer ::  This is the guy that has so much on their fuckin' plate as far as work, family, and/or other activities that they can't even be near the presence of a console.  Not that there's anything wrong with that, but when you're trying to be a poser and pick up a controller, it can be misleading as you being a closet gamer.  (Damn, I knew I forgot to add something from my prior post.)  But really, it's just them trying to network somehow to whomever they're playing with to hookup some other way in a different activity.  So to put it plain and simply put, they use it as a business meeting or a family reunion tool.  Lame.
  • Amish People ::  Well, duh!?!  (I just pissed off the Amish Community)  But primarily this is in regard to those that has little to do with anything electronics, nonetheless videogames.  They consist of those that might be too busy with other things such as going out and enjoying life, or doing other things in their leisure time such as reading a book or other things you see on probably those arts and crafts shows on PBS.  (BTW, Bob Ross is still the man!)
 
 
 And that as they say is that.  It's not that I discriminate on gamers and non-gamers and that everything here is black and white.  It's just that there is a lot of gray area that goes unnoticed.  And I like to expose as much of that as I can while instilling a level of being a smartass into the mix.  Simple, yet complex; much like gaming in general.  So, who's up for a game of Tetris?!?
 
BootLeG sampler.. signing out...

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