Death to Farmville

I believe you all know my stance of flash games by now...  They are meant to be enjoyed at short spurts to pass the time between one task to another or a quick release from reality.  But once it becomes an empire where it requires your undying allegiance to it to just continue and maintain your virtual world, that's when it becomes more of an obsession and even worse, an epidemic to the masses.  And now, Zynga's Farmville finally pushed me to the point where the only acceptable place for it is the scenic underworld of the corner of Hellfire and Brimstone.  This I present to everyone is another installment of my Death To series; Death To Farmville...

(Special thanks to Jack Brimstone for the kick-ass illustration.)

Now, this isn't an attack on Zynga itself, I'm a big fan of some of their products.  I played Zynga Poker and Mafia Wars once upon a time prior to Facebook being nothing more than a social hub of flash games as well as some of their mobile fares with their "With Friends" line of games.  Which you can find me and start up a game with my twitter @BootLeGsampler, but that is just a testament to what they have done.  But none of which compare to what they have done with the onslaught of idiocracy that is Farmville.  So what's wrong with Farmville, what isn't wrong with it is the shorter answer.  But I'll try my damnedest to explain why I'm laying down the law and sentencing Death To Farmville.


If you don't already know I'm totally anti-gaming on Facebook, it's meant for networking and socializing, plain and simple.  Banter and contacts, that's what I see it as.  And from the last time I check watching The Social Network, they did not mention crap about games.  I was tolerable about the games and all.  I tried it, sure I was suckered in, but I blame the wifie on that.  It was just a thing I did to help with the wifie  But I was soon to notice that it was just a tedious load of crap that sucked more of my time that needed to be wasted.  It started innocently as plant some potatoes, pick some apples from some trees, and maybe milk a cow or two.  That's it, not much more to it.  Maybe, and just MAYBE, you would help a friend or two with their farm.  But then, like all things Zynga, it got friggin' ridiculous.


I was a fan of Mafia Wars too, and I weened myself out of it when they started introducing different missions and locations for quests and all.  It loss a lock of it's luster and became weak in my opinion and flooded with a bunch of bots and cheaters trying to rack up a bunch of points for what, nothing more than notoriety from Zynga at best.  Fast forward the couple of years since and all of the popularity of people on Facebook just for the fact of playing a game, it's overbearing and stupid.  Now Farmville just introduced it's third world of playing, it has quests among quests of doing, and it's ridiculously stupid on how much time it takes to maintain all of the stuff it presents to you.  Seriously, it's an old, blue haired ladies version of WoW, and I've already did a Death To about that earlier.  It is too damn much work and maintence to keep up with all the crap.  I knew of people that spend so much time and effort in the game that it became practically a second job for them with all the man-hours they did.  And let's not forget the factor that some resources you have to pay to complete.  You might not have enough of one thing and needing to buy it from them, thus feeding into the monopoly of flash games that is Zynga. Okay, so this post did become somewhat of an attack on Zynga, but not fully, I'm still focusing on the precedence of it being that Farmville will suck you of your time, money, and eventually your soul.

(Thank to The Oatmeal for providing such kick-ass content, really, you should be here more than you're on Farmville people.)

But I digress, I mean if you really don't have anything else to do, and you don't have any means of communicating with anyone in the world, and all the time in the world to do nothing but click on a mouse and burn though your paypal, sure, go for it.  But keep in mind, there are better addictions, like gambling, drinking, or interacting with a healthy relationship with actual people. But if you plan on going on with this abysmal existence, I suggest you pick up this...

BootLeG sampler.. signing out...

WTF PEOPLE!?! Apps

I'm willing to concede that we are living in such an advanced time where there seem to be an app for everything if everyone else is willing to concede that the apps have put us into a symbiotic relationship to them.  It's just that simple people.  I know it, you know it, we all know it...  We just don't want to admit it. Hopefully this will shine some light to the matter.

I've talked about apps briefly in a previous post and I still stand by that.  But like technology does so must apps too, and evolve.  It seems that we are tethered into having an app for daily living as well as an escape from our reality.  There's games, music, games, organizers, games, social networks, games, and other crap that is mostly ridiculous.  Oh, did I mention games. A whole friggin boat load of them. And yes I seem to be addicted to them. I've fallen into the Matrix people, just start converting me into a AA right now...  Where should I start in this shenanigan, more of an accurate question is when.

It was about a month ago I finally broke down and stepped into the realm of smart devises.  Browse a few sites while texting, listening to my music collection, checking my email, running the whole gauntlet of what comes standard with these things.  It was euphoria. Finally realizing what I was missing. Then I started to think, "what else is this thing missing?". APPS!!! Pretty much the other main function is loading it with a bunch of multi-touch games and other crap. And in my brief time with this I've noticed that there are a few that are helpful, some are a good use of wasted time, and others are just a waste of gigabytes. 

But mostly they're a waste.  I've had the opportunity to look into some apps.  And the term " for what it's worth" couldn't be more appropriate. Angry Birds, Texting Of The Bread, and Fruit Ninja was probably the best $.99 I spent so far with this while The Price Is Right was an addictive purchase because I'm a sucker for game shows.  And some of the free apps are decent at best, such as Pandora, Facebook, and Twitter; which I seem to be abusing every chance I get. But as all free stuff goes, 99% of it is total crap. Being that it is either ad filled and you would have to pay to get rid of (if it even gave that option on some apps) or have to pay to unlock certain features (which I am guilty of doing on a rare occasion; damn you "oh my balls"). But I can see everyones obsession with these damn things.  It's the new wave of technological crack cocaine we've came to embrace. And embrace we shall until the next new thing come out.

Believe me this is just the peak of the iceberg. It's what within the apps that draw us together. The obvious are the social networking apps but the games (which I have been mostly doing) can share, compare, and brag about all the smack you're doing in the game. Then again, a lot can be said about all the Playstation 3 achievements on my friends Facebook's wall.

So let me stop before I lose my friggin mind on all this app talk and get back to other means of entertainment, like watching Netflix on my TV instead of my mobile device.

BootLeG sampler.. signing out...

Internet Escapes (revisited)

"I love firin' up my 'puter and gettin' on dat inna-web... It's fantabulous... There's dis youtube n myspace n twittidy-tweets n all the games in the world n dat yahoo place, ooh child I get lost in that place if it wasn't for my 7 year old helping me click on where to get my inna-mails and stuff... Yup, da inna-web is the new place for me, I tells you what..."

That is what my general consensus of what I think most (like I said most, not everyone) that has an internet connection goes and do in their minds. It's pretty sad is all that I'm saying. But that's not to say that having leisurely time while on the internet isn't bad. I do such like I mentioned on a prior post, and it's a great escape. I just find that sometimes there's escape, than there's assimilation to the point that your brain becomes pudding that Bill Cosby won't even touch.

In this day and age, we have the internet: a medium of communication that was initially used by U.S. Armed Forces in the 1970's that is now in my assessment; a vessel that's 80% porn; 5% WOW users and boards; 5% MySpace and Facebook (apps included); 5% YouTube and other viral video sites; 4% shopping outlets; and 1% actual stuff that is useful. So I'm gonna focus on some of these things for recreational purposes that can still be considered PG for all intensive purposes, I'm steering away from porn, I just think that that's enough said about that one. So here's my rant on some more internet escapes.



The first of these things that I want to tackle is Facebook. I love it, I use it, it's not too shabby to say the least. I go and interact with my friends and family from the comforts of my own bedroom while doing other mundane things like folding laundry or changing the baby. It's fun, and some of the featured applications are pretty decent such as FarmTown, Mafia Wars, Texas Hold-Em Poker, and other fun things on it. Its just that sometimes, too much of a good thing, or maybe just any thing, is not a good thing. For instance, I have currently about 50 requests combined of quizzes to take, gifts for apps to receive, and the occasional friend here and there. It's too friggin' much. I mean Facebok has so many apps that it just becomes more of the center of attention at times versus the whole networking side of things (which is what a SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE is supposed to do anyways.) And don't even get me started on some of the quizzes it has. First off there's like three dozen quiz apps and some of the quizzes that are created are stupid to boot. Like I give a damn about how old do I act or what my name means if it was an acronym for a robot. It's effing stupid. I felt like I just wasted two and a half minutes of my time taking each test and that Facebook should give me a refund for allowing that tripe to be on it. It just annoys the crap outta me sometimes.



Another thing that I use to escape in the internet is viral videos and lol'z. It's just fun either making them or watching them, and trust me, I've done quite a few of them. It's not bad, definitely if you want a quick laugh, and just to pass the time. But sometimes some people just get overboard with some of the stuff on there and they get too cliche at times. I'm all good for the random video of someone getting kicked in the junk or falling on their head now and then; but seriously people, we've been seeing that since before Bob Saget was doing dirty jokes and hosting America's Funniest Home Videos. It's funny, but not all the time. And I know that there's a gem out there that goes along with the cliche, but that's the exception, not the rule. Now about those lol'z that are out there. It either consists of cute cuddly kittens speaking in broken English; to bashing on whatever is the current pop icon until it becomes so predictable that the joke is lame two hours before you even saw it; to some of the most perverse things out there that makes you either LOL or OMG on the spot. There's a lot of them. And to narrow down on such is just too much. It's all over. I mean, there's so many videos there that you'll bound to hear about one or the other that might (and I mean lottery odds might) be epic enough to make it into the water cooler at your job and talk about it. Same to go with the captions from those lol'z that are created. Sometimes they make the grade, but others are just weak. Not to mention those captions are cliched as well (I know I mentioned that earlier, but it really gets to me.)



And you know what, there's still more that's out there that I've still yet haven't touched on yet. But I will you can bet on that one. Making headway to all the crap on the 'net, I'm gonna keep my sieve out and dump all that won't pass.



BootLeG sampler.. signing out...

Social Networking and other internet escapes

So today I'm going to talk about how we (or at least from my experiences since this is a blog and all) try to find a way to identify and escape the mundane on the internet. There are a slew of things out there now from forums, social networking sites, blogging (yeah, that's right), vlogging, streaming audio and video; and that's just the tip of the iceberg. I'm not even about to go into the gaming side of things (at least in depth) when it comes to broadband console gaming, internet gambling services, and MMORPGs. This is just trying to keep it short, simple, and to the point.

(Old fart moment coming up.) Back in my day (1990's) we only had IM services and chat rooms. You wanted more, you go and make time and get the hell out and meet up with friends. Of course with me, my friends and I usually either played video games or practice in jam sessions with our instruments. We didn't have YouTube or MySpace, and you were damn lucky if you even had a webcam and another friend to talk to with a webcam over an IM through a dial-up connection (56 kbps = fail.) I'm just saying that sometimes I look back and see all this advancement; sure it's good and all and I'm an addict to it (you're reading my blog,right) and see that where's some of the personal interaction. Is are life so damn hectic that we can only interact via tweet and postings? C'mon, live a little. Go out and have yourself a good time, with people.

Such a simple concept, who know that it could catch on so much. I mean, we're even to the point of there's advertisements on Nickelodeon to tell kids to go outside, but the funniest thing about that is that there's a website that they can go on to find activities that they can do outside. WTF is that all about?!? Is is too much effort to use your brain to come up with a rousing game of 'tag' or 'red light, green light?' I mean I lived in a concrete jungle as a kid, no parks at least within walking distance from my house (for a six year old that is) and I've found time playing tag, hide and seek, and the occasional bike race on the sidewalk all the time. Now my kids, all they wanna do is play the Wii or go to Noggin.com and play there. Sure it's fine and on occasion and pending good behavior I let it happen, but I sure find time to let them be boys and wrestle on the floor, swim in the pool, or even go to the park and fly a kite. When did we become sedimentary.

Now that was just a rant about kids, don't even get me started on what we've become (and yes I'm guilty for it to so this isn't finger pointing, it's ranting, no blame on anyone.) We got a slew of networking sites for our friends, family, favorite things online and other stuff.

It even gotten to the point of where they're dating services out there to find someone else for our own personal Lonely Hearts Band. Why? Why did we get ourselves so lost into this that we have nothing to do but sign in and post a little thingy out for the world to see. Not that it's wrong, just that it's excessive. A whole friggin lot of it out there and I'm just like jaw dropped to the floor.

My wife is active in three different forums, myself barely active in 1 but not in depth. Both of us have Facebook accounts, in fact, she's the one that wanted me to create one after she made one for herself. And don't get me started on facebook, how many different apps can you cram into a site where it's man purpose was to gather friends and family for updates on their lives. Social networking is making it so hard to physically socialize that there only purpose is to make a virtual landscape and gather people together in one big old, well, gathering. Good concept, but not for a session of 24/7 constant updating crap, just to post an idea or two and then come back later. I mean, c'mon you gotta get some breathing room out there. And the same can be said about bloggers and twitters, get a grip and let it be. It's not gonna go away, but you need to just take a breather sometime and let some fresh air in your system (that doesn't mean to take you laptop, iPhone, Blackberry, whatever to Starbucks and use their wi-fi sitting outside sipping on some Tazo either.)

And then theres multimedia snippits. Now I'll admit, that's my guilty pleasure. I frequent these places because it appeals to me. But I don't go and waste hours on end over there. I find what's new and then comment and leave. Maybe come back and see any replies on my comments, but that's about it. It's good and all, but I don't waste my day (unless I'm laid up sick at home and no way of getting outta my bed) and just devour all that is there. There's only so much crap that you can take in before you explode. Take it one at a time and then, once again, breathe. Simple, right?

Now, maybe in a future post I'll talk about internet poker (another vice of mine), WoW, and the ridiculous price of a 12 month subscription to X-Box live, but that's another day. What's needed now is for me to take a break. Back next week with more insightful ramblings.

BootLeG sampler.. signing out...